Wednesday 11 May 2011

Entombed

He turns the death garland over in gnarled hands.

A wreath of bones, and things resembling bones; fragments of animal, man and machine. Lives, deconstructed.

Death, reconstructed.

Debris, become the key to beyond.

He had been bound for millennia; buried with penumbral beasts from the flickering, cave-fire dawn of fear, with the scritching, scratching of fraying claws and too-big teeth in snapping jaws. Then the Earth split and scraps of modern man fell in.

Now he yearns, a yawning ache, for the world without.

He turns his key. The lock cracks.

He walks free... and dark things ride his shadow.





(originally written for Lily Child's Friday Prediction)
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13 comments:

  1. Larry Kollar11 May 2011 at 15:56

    Yow, that's a killer scene!

    But am I a bad person for misreading at first glance and seeing "penumbral breasts"? 8-}

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  2. Holly Karlsson11 May 2011 at 19:06

    Ooh this character fascinates me. Seductive imagery as always, I was caught at the first sentence. :)

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  3. John Xero12 May 2011 at 12:58

    Ha ha, thanks, FAR, Maybe I'd get more clicks if they were penumbral breasts... ;)

    Thank you, Zaiure. Originally, in my head, he was guardian of the things locked in there with him, a kind of ultimate sacrifice, but I think time in their presence, away from everything good, has changed him...

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  4. Steve Green13 May 2011 at 22:06

    Awesome!!!

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  5. John Xero13 May 2011 at 22:55

    The original comment that Blogger ate...

    Ha ha, thanks, FAR, Maybe I'd get more clicks if they were penumbral breasts... ;)

    Thank you, Zaiure. Originally, in my head, he was guardian of the things locked in there with him, a kind of ultimate sacrifice, but I think time in their presence, away from everything good, has changed him...

    And, thank you, Steve. =D

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  6. John Wiswell14 May 2011 at 01:54

    Sort of a Biblical gravity here. Dug the notion of a garland of bones.

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  7. John Xero14 May 2011 at 07:51

    Thanks, John. It's a creepy thing, ain't it? ;)

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  8. Magaly Guerrero15 May 2011 at 13:54

    "Lives, deconstructed.

    Death, reconstructed."

    Those are my two favorite lines, something about the contrast made them stick. Maybe it's the balance between life and death, or the fact that I'm dying to know who will continue the reconstruction and the deconstruction: the entombed character or the dark things stalking him.

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  9. John Xero17 May 2011 at 08:01

    Thanks, Magaly. =)

    I think a lot of power in writing can come from dualism and contrast, the friction created can be far greater than the parts.

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  10. Anonymous20 May 2011 at 04:13

    Very dark and mysterious. Creeped me out and pulled me in.

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  11. John Xero20 May 2011 at 16:52

    Thank you, Lara. If it makes you look at shadows just a little closer... ;)

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  12. EC21 June 2011 at 15:57

    I'm with John, I liked the garland of bones, and that last sentence was gorgeous.

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  13. John Xero22 June 2011 at 20:07

    Thanks, Erin. =)

    It's a great example of how Lily's prediction can push you creatively. 'Garland' was one of the three words. =)

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