London sprawls across the horizon, taunting us with its
rude, bustling health, drawing us in with coy insinuations, with promises of
revenge. The journey has not been easy but we are finally home.
Whatever the scientists shot us full of is rotting our
insides away. I can feel it in spikes and jabs of bright pain, in a growing,
pervasive ache. We are the walking dead, but we refuse to lie down, our
symphony is not done yet.
We were built to win, and we won. We were trained to fight,
and we have brought the war home with us.
As always, your 101 words tells a story far greater than mere word count could suggest!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Larry! ^_^
DeleteThis is an epic story told so economically - great stuff, now my imagination is working overtime - this could be a new serial John ^___^
ReplyDeleteThank you, Helen. =)
DeleteIt actually began life as a 'first lines' competition entry (quite heavily tweaked since then).
Your ideas output is scary but in a good way.
ReplyDeleteI like the twist on the zombie idea and how it makes them terrifying but also sympathetic.
Thank you, Pete! ^_^
DeleteI worried about using the phrase 'walking dead' as it was supposed to be more figurative than literal. They weren't intended as zombies, but I did think people might read it as that.
Unusual John, seeing it from the zombies' side. Their pain is a new twist, I think most people wouldn't credit zombies as being able to feel pain, or to logic their surroundings or savour vengeance. The creatures would be all the more dangerous for these abilities.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Steve. See my comment to Pete about the zombies, one of the downsides of the ultra-short form, you don't always quite get across exactly what you're going for.
DeleteAh, yes, it was the "walking dead" phrase that led me astray. Not zombies then, but more like "Dead men walking" not dead yet, but soon-to-be.
DeleteAre they enhanced soldiers then, John? Perhaps chemically enhanced, with a limited life built into the enhancements?
Whatever they are, it's not good news for whoever they're coming for.
Bang on, Steve. =)
DeleteVictims of a "we will win this war, whatever the cost" program. Super-soldiers with a limited shelf life.
You must be talking about South London :-)
ReplyDeleteFeels more like a premise than a story, but it's a darned well-worded premise. The rotting insides particularly stick for the homecoming.
ReplyDeleteThanks, John. =)
DeleteI know what you mean, it could definitely be blown into a bigger story, and it maybe lacks the defined details of a closer scene, more of a blurb.