Burnt out, a building becomes an exposed corpse. Blackened
ribs of brick and broken wood. Empty windows like dead eyes. Ghosts of ash drifting,
dissipating on a mournful wind.
The Institute of Advanced Necrological Research had been our
home; the place we were raised, so to speak.
Doctor Frankie told us this day would come, the pitchforks
and torches of yore replaced by shotguns and gasoline. In the ruins of her
office I find the charred painting of her infamous forebear and I am resolved.
We are children of the grave and we will find the monsters that did this.
(Originally written for Lily Childs' Friday Prediction)
Ooooo. Nice twist there.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Larry. =)
DeleteIt wasn't in the first draft, but I was never really happy with a simple revenge punchline and that just fell into place during editing. =)
Nice twist. If it were a Hollywood action flick it would justify the protagonist killing about 150 people along the way to getting revenge.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Pete, it's a good thing I don't work for Hollywood! ;)
Delete(although, Hollywood, if you're watching, I'd take that cheque...) ;)
Great first paragraph describing the burnt house. It creates a very vivid picture as well as sets the tone for the piece. I don't just see the wreckage but I see something sinister, something dead.
ReplyDeleteI'm also loving the backbone of this story. I want to know what happens next! :)
Thank you, Zaiure. =)
DeleteWonderfully descriptive and nice twist in the end. My favourite line - "Ghosts of ash drifting, dissipating on a mournful wind."
ReplyDeleteThank you, Helen. =)
DeleteI wasn't sure if that line was a little too melodramatic, but I liked it too much to take it out. ;)
Great imagery John, I particularly liked the parallel with pitchforks and torches to shotguns and gasolines, it gives the "Storming mob mentality" a modern twist.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Steve. I think some things will never change but the tools that are used...
Delete