Wednesday, 23 March 2011

Puppet

Wired. Silken strings throb beneath his skin, uplifting.

He takes his first steps, tentative, a newborn foal.

Step, step. Steady, step, step.

He dances for them, for all of them. And they all want him, want control.

And none of them want to share.

Pushed, pulled, thrust, thrown. Too many hands on him, too many puppeteers.

He screams, screams and they panic.

They let go and he crumples, a deflated dream. They stare at him. They accuse him with their shock and their silence.

He would walk away, should walk away, but he hasn’t the strength to rise by himself.
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12 comments:

  1. R.S. Bohn23 March 2011 at 18:35

    Beautifully clever! You design your pieces so well, too. I'm impressed.

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  2. Sunshineshelle23 March 2011 at 22:15

    I feel like helping him, you pulled my strings with this story too. lovely.

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  3. John Xero24 March 2011 at 09:14

    Thanks Rebecca, it's one of the joys of writing/ editing on a computer. I kept swapping these sentences all over the place trying to find the best order... =)

    Thanks Shelle, let's hope he's not too tangled... =)

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  4. Magaly Guerrero24 March 2011 at 09:21

    The first line made me cringe and hiss at the same time. The imagery and sensual details are raw. I almost felt sorry for him; I mean I do a little, but then there is hope. The tone makes me feel "he hasn't the strength to rise by himself" yet.

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  5. John Xero24 March 2011 at 09:33

    Thanks, Magaly.

    We all have to learn to stand by ourselves sometime, and for the most part we gain more than we lose in the process... It's all about balance...

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  6. John Wiswell25 March 2011 at 03:22

    Hasn't the strength to rise by himself, but has the strength given by social power to move on with them. I've been caught in that trap before..

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  7. AidanF25 March 2011 at 04:28

    I find myself drawn to the puppeteers in this piece. The self-centered ones pulling the strings, wanting the strings and never understanding the screams. You do a great job of constructing your drabbles+1.

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  8. John Xero25 March 2011 at 12:52

    Thanks John, glad you could see the allegory in there. =)

    And thank you Aidan, it's good discipline, hitting the word count and still being completely happy. It's agonising sometimes when I'm one word either way and it feels finished already...

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  9. Holly Karlsson25 March 2011 at 19:09

    Powerful imagery. In the beginning he doesn't seem to notice the strings. His tentative first steps are curious and new. The dance has the potential for joy. Then he realizes he is being controlled and his "newborn" curiosity transitions to terror.

    I definitely enjoy your writing style. :)

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  10. John Xero26 March 2011 at 07:39

    Thanks Zaiure =)

    I love how there are already different interpretations of Puppet. None of us are as free as we like to think... ;)

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  11. neha27 March 2011 at 12:35

    killer first line, and love the tight construction.

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  12. John Xero27 March 2011 at 17:43

    Thank you, Neha. =)

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