Wednesday 31 October 2012

Lily

by John Xero
They say the pier is haunted.

Years ago, me and Lily used to fool around under there. We had this secret spot at the top end, where it was always damp, always dark. Right below the seafood guy. People would be above us, eating their cockles and muscles and shrimps, and Lily would be trembling beneath me and I’d be kissing her hard to keep her from crying out.

But in the damp and the dark, our lust woke something, something old and lascivious. I made it out, but Lily...

They say the pier's haunted; it’s Lily’s moans they hear.





Author bio: John Xero believes the internet will make ghosts of us all... fragments of half-forgotten lives echoing down the years like electronic spectres.
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Happy Halloween!
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18 comments:

  1. Sandra Davies31 October 2012 at 10:58

    I've always been fearful fascinated by the green-damp darkness below the pier and this simply reinforces why. Truly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. John Xero31 October 2012 at 13:49

      There will always be dark corners, no matter how bright civilisation glows... ;)

      Thank you, Sandra. =)

      Delete
  2. Anonymous2 November 2012 at 13:37

    Ooo, creepy! I like it! I can actually see this as a short film; very cool!

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  3. Cat Russell2 November 2012 at 22:54

    Holy CRAP, how did you do that? That was fantastic!

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  4. Steve Green3 November 2012 at 11:08

    Once again you manage to convey so much in such a low word count.

    Under the pier, a hideaway for lovers... and other things...

    The flash conjures up so much
    imagery, very nicely done John.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. John Xero3 November 2012 at 21:19

      Not all the sea's mysteries are in the deeps... ;)

      Thanks, Steve. =)

      Delete
  5. Cindy Vaskova3 November 2012 at 16:49

    Haunting...

    Very nice flash John, that last line made me hear Lily's moans.

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  6. Helen A. Howell4 November 2012 at 03:52

    Poor Lily! Under the boardwalk is obviously not safe!

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    Replies
    1. John Xero13 November 2012 at 19:37

      Not unless you're a fully accredited monster hunter, and maybe not even then... ;)

      Delete
  7. Anonymous6 November 2012 at 09:16

    The thing that works for me in this great piece of fiction is the repetition of "They say the pier is haunted": it not only bookends the piece, but almost tolls like a bell on a fog-covered buoy out at sea.

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    Replies
    1. John Xero13 November 2012 at 19:38

      Thank you, Justin, for the great comment. ^_^

      Delete
  8. Angel Zapata6 November 2012 at 15:28

    When it comes to monsters, it's always survival of he who runs fastest. I feel bad for Lily, but oh so good about this awesome flash.

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    Replies
    1. John Xero13 November 2012 at 19:38

      You don't have to be the fastest, just so long as there's someone slower... ;)

      Thank you, Angel. =)

      Delete
  9. Anonymous15 January 2013 at 23:14

    Incredibly eerie and well-told. I liked the repetition, tying the end back to the beginning.

    ReplyDelete

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